And wait.

“There’s things that happen in a person’s life

that are so scorched in the memory

and burned into the heart that there’s no forgetting them.”

John Boyne.

2.43 am.

Today (yesterday) was a very rainy day.

Gray and rainy.

All day.

Even i couldn’t move too much out of my bed,

i made my way to do some things.

I hate driving when is raining.

Good thing Valium is doing his work.

Effexor withdrawal effects are less now.

But they were really bad in the past weeks.

Now lets Prozac start doing his thing.

And wait.

As always.


Im doing my best.

Even if my best looks nothing to you.

I miss life.

I miss joy.

Sometimes i need a hug so badly.

And i want to cry and cry until

there is no more tears left.

There is no time without shadows.

There is no hours without fighting.

I wish i could forget.

Erase my memory, my soul.

Sometimes in my dreams

i feel that somebody is sitting in my bed.

I really feel the weight besides me.

And i try to move my hand

and touch it.

I know is God.

And i try to ask him

to hold my hand please.

I just want somebody to hold my hand.

But i get lost again in the darknes of my mind.

That’s all for now.

The night is long and i must go.

Keep going.

And wait.



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