“Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.”
**vulnerable /ˈvʌlnərəbəl/ : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt…Etymology: 17th Century: from Late Latin vulnerābilis, from Latinvulnerāre to wound, from vulnus a wound.** (Collins Concise English Dictionary © )
We live in a world where society measures the success of a person by their accomplishments, goals completed, what car you use, how big is your house, the brand of clothes you wear, how complete and perfect is your family, and so… by a long list of standards where there is not much room for failure and suffering.
If you want to succeed in life, you have to be strong. You can not afford to be weak, or be very emotional. Only the strong succeed.
It’s really hard when your life has been a long list of difficulties, falls, fights and a thousand things that appeared along the way. When you think you got out of a problem, the next day there are three new waiting at your door. But still you keep on fighting, giving the best of you, but never qualify for the list of the strong and successful persons.
And you get tired. And you wonder sometimes at night when you can not sleep, if all that old success story is actually true.
You are not alone. I could be described as the most unsuccessful member of my family. As happens to so many, not even me can understand my own story. I just know that somehow I’ve come this far. Only God knows how. And yes, I am weak, I am vulnerable to everything around me, pain, misery, suffering, death, separation, failure, broken dreams, deep wounds, you name it.
And you know, at this point in my life, I do not want to be successful, or show anyone how far I can go. Because this life is really a mystery. We are too fragile to waste time being the heroes of the story. I do not want to be a hero. But definitely i do not want to leave this world without having wept with those who weep and laughed with those who laugh. I want to be vulnerable even to the intriguing melancholy of an autumnal day.
And no, I have no plans, I have no idea what to do with my life and everything I’m going through. I’m just living badly one day at a time, one coffee at a time, some days I spend more time in bed than standing, other days somehow with God’s help I can complete assignments and commitments.
Living is a huge challenge, and as emotional beings that we are, I prefer the path of those who are behind, trying to overcome the sadness and pain, being vulnerable …. vulnerable to life itself.
PS: I am reading a book called: “The Gifts Of Imperfection” by Brené Brown (thanks Yael!!), and it’s really getting in to me. Probably my nexts posts in English (like this one) will be related to book and what im learning from it.