“The clock holds me nowhere.Nowhere. Nowhere. There is nothing else but now and the shifting depth of the night.” James Frey.
Here and Now.
The real thing is here and now.
That’s why i can’t think about the future, about next year, about next month, not even about tomorrow. It’s too much for my mind.
Actually it’s too much for my soul.
I live here and now.
Here and now is the hour when time itself is unreal and blurry.
I’m so weak that sometimes getting out of bed is heavy duty job.
Sometimes all i can think is how much i want to sleep and be in peace.
Sometimes i want to run and run and see if can get lost in the wind.
Here and now, when my eyes are burning, and i want to cry but i’m so afraid of my own feelings that my hands are shaking, here and now, tell me what to do here and now.
The night is coming, the dark hours of medicated sleep, when i can’t control my memories, they just make a dance in my mind, a dance so hard to describe.
Here and now.
That’s all i have when everyone else is gone.
My own reality, my own battlefield.
Just me. Even if i call there is no answer.
The loneliness of the night is deep…and quiet.
Here and now…